Last week I was given the classification for my degree and I am very proud to tell you that I achieved a 2:1. We're now into the final pieces of paperwork and sometime next month (hopefully) I'll get my pin and be a fully qualified midwife. This month I shall attend an interview for a job and I know I've got my fingers and toes crossed that I'll get it.
It's an odd feeling right now. I'm exhilarated and slightly scared. I am scared of no longer having that mentor looking over me and ensuring that I'm doing things correctly. Yet at the same time I am looking forward to working independently, taking all that I have learnt from my various mentors over the past three years and developing my own practice.
I am proud to be able to say that I've made it. I have managed the demands of academic life, placement and family life. Once a long time ago, I began a journey to be a teacher and over half way through the course, I failed a major assignment and dropped out. At that point I thought I had given up the chance of ever getting a degree. I had no idea what I'd do with my life and didn't really think I'd ever make anything of myself. However I feel that I have also never really given up. I have always forged forward with the belief that there is something better out there for me; that I could do more.
I am not the greatest student, I wouldn't consider myself particularly academic. When I was doing my teaching course, I averaged very low marks, scraping through each assignment. My assignments as a student midwife, have been varied....some I've got it right and others I've not done so well at. I have taken something from each experience. I have literally taken it one day at a time, one challenge at a time...never daring to think beyond being a student and simply doing my best. I also could not have done it without the amazing support of my husband who always believed in me and my family's never ending support.
At the moment I am making the most of a little time off.....spending time with my children, seeing friends that I've woefully neglected over the past three years, spending time with family, catching up on my knitting and spending time preparing for Twirling Nationals with my daughters' twirling group (if you are interested you can follow them here http://distinctiontwirlersofmedway.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/happy-easter.html ).
It's been a long journey and in so many ways, this is just the first step on the next part of the trip. I shall aim to continue to tell you all what it is like to be a newly qualified midwife. I am looking forward to taking that step but for now I shall enjoy spending time being me.
Showing posts with label study. Show all posts
Showing posts with label study. Show all posts
Tuesday, 2 April 2013
Tuesday, 4 October 2011
Another placement finished
Two more assignments submitted and suddenly I'm halfway through the course. Everyone told me that the time would fly past and they were right, it really has flown. I'm looking back at all I've done and learnt and feeling quite proud of myself and yet I can still look at all there is to learn and feel overwhelmed by it all. Over the past 18 months I have seen a variety of women with very different needs,and a variety of different midwives with different ways of working. I've seen normal births and I've seen births that needed high levels of expertise in order for mother and baby to survive - all of which I have learnt from. Sometimes it can feel like what we do at Uni, is a distant cry from what we do on placement. After all our first 18 months of training has been focused on normality but of course what we see on placement can be very different. One thing I have learnt is that remaining focused on what is normal, helps to identify when something isn't within the realms of normality.
A simple example of this is when we first palpate the uterus to see what position the baby is in, in a woman who is 40 weeks pregnant. Focusing on normality, we would expect the baby to be in a head down position so if the baby is not in that position, we can identify this and then act appropriately. At the beginning of my training I didn't really have a clue what position the baby was in but with practice I soon began to be able to tell. I even managed to identify a baby in the breech position. As I've continued in my training, I've become more and more confident and even at an earlier stage of pregnancy, can often identify the position. That said, I am not afraid to say when I'm not sure and to ask the midwife I am working with to have a feel and see what she thinks. It's essential to be comfortable enough to say "I don't know". There is no shame in not knowing something, there is shame in pretending that you do.
It's not unknown for a doctor to request a second opinion and I've witnessed qualified midwives ask for another midwife's opinion. Yet I know it can be difficult to say 'I don't know'. I'd say it's probably more difficult at the beginning of your training because you don't know yet whether or not you should know the answer and whether you'll look foolish if you don't know. I still maintain that you look far more foolish if you pretend to know the answer....you will get caught out. These days when I come across a term I don't know - usually when booking someone, they mention a medical condition I've never heard of - I'll ask the midwife I'm working with, or I'll look it up. We can't know everything after all.
So if you are about to start your first placement then there is your first bit of advice - don't be afraid to say you don't know something. BUT don't wait for someone else to find out for you - look it up - google is your friend!
A simple example of this is when we first palpate the uterus to see what position the baby is in, in a woman who is 40 weeks pregnant. Focusing on normality, we would expect the baby to be in a head down position so if the baby is not in that position, we can identify this and then act appropriately. At the beginning of my training I didn't really have a clue what position the baby was in but with practice I soon began to be able to tell. I even managed to identify a baby in the breech position. As I've continued in my training, I've become more and more confident and even at an earlier stage of pregnancy, can often identify the position. That said, I am not afraid to say when I'm not sure and to ask the midwife I am working with to have a feel and see what she thinks. It's essential to be comfortable enough to say "I don't know". There is no shame in not knowing something, there is shame in pretending that you do.
It's not unknown for a doctor to request a second opinion and I've witnessed qualified midwives ask for another midwife's opinion. Yet I know it can be difficult to say 'I don't know'. I'd say it's probably more difficult at the beginning of your training because you don't know yet whether or not you should know the answer and whether you'll look foolish if you don't know. I still maintain that you look far more foolish if you pretend to know the answer....you will get caught out. These days when I come across a term I don't know - usually when booking someone, they mention a medical condition I've never heard of - I'll ask the midwife I'm working with, or I'll look it up. We can't know everything after all.
So if you are about to start your first placement then there is your first bit of advice - don't be afraid to say you don't know something. BUT don't wait for someone else to find out for you - look it up - google is your friend!
Sunday, 24 October 2010
A week at Uni
I began the week feeling very nervous about my exam. I was glad to have no lectures on the Monday so I could spend the whole day studying. My husband dropped me off at the library straight after we dropped our eldest off at school and I got straight down to work. The first thing I decided to do was my drugs calculation test; as I wasn't concerned about it, I thought I'd get it out of the way. I was more nervous doing it, than I expected to be so I made sure to take my time, read every question twice and double checked each answer. Thankfully I passed it first time so I could then forget about it.
Tuesday we had a full day of lectures and meetings which none of us really wanted, as we'd rather have been preparing for the exam. In fact there were quite a few empty chairs. We began the day with a cohort meeting although it was meant to be a skills lecture, we ended up switching the two around. The cohort meeting gave us an opportunity to raise any issues that had come up over placement, problems we'd come up against and also to celebrate our successes. It seems that the difficulties were things that had come up time and time before. There were quite a few girls that had had problems having their books signed off - that their mentors would repeatedly put it off, and then it would be too late. There also seemed to be a huge variation in the marks we'd been given. There is a mark guide and we'd been advised to explain that the mark scheme was based on us as first years and therefore we'd possibly need to push for higher marks if we felt we deserved it. Unfortunately some mentors would mark us as first years assuming the marking criteria would remain the same over the three years and wouldn't listen to any opinion given by the student. It certainly made me realise how lucky I had been with my mentor and how I'd been marked for my placement.
There was also some discussion about the attitude towards students from some of the midwives. It's very obvious those that are happy to work with students and those that aren't. Simply put it is an essential part of their job but like any job I guess, everyone has parts they don't want to do....doesn't make it easy for us as students however. We talked quite a lot about the different ways we had handled it and hopefully it will help us for our future placements.
We then had our skills lecture, personal tutor group meeting and finally a psycho-social lecture. It would have been far better to have had the psycho-social lecture at the beginning of the day as many people left by the end of the day, and I found it hard to concentrate by that point. Once we'd finished for the day I went straight to the library to squeeze in some final study for the exam. I must confess it wasn't very successful as I was very tired by then.
So Wednesday came and the nerves were fluttering. We were due to have a lecture for Values at 9 but I confess I skipped it in favour of some more last minute study. At 12 I made my way over to the room along with some of my colleagues. The exam was two hours long and afterwards there was the typical postmortem. I found it much harder than I'd expected in some parts and other parts were ok. I simply hope I have done enough to pass it!
The next couple of days were far nicer without the exam hanging over us, though we'll all be grateful in about 6 weeks when we get the results. We're already thinking ahead to our next assignment and also our next placement. And we're also beginning to think about our transition time when we can choose what we'd like to do for 3 weeks; well 100 hours. I've got a few ideas and it's a case of deciding which one to go for. Next year I think I would like to go and learn about fertility treatment and then potentially use that experience to follow through with my final dissertation.
Tuesday we had a full day of lectures and meetings which none of us really wanted, as we'd rather have been preparing for the exam. In fact there were quite a few empty chairs. We began the day with a cohort meeting although it was meant to be a skills lecture, we ended up switching the two around. The cohort meeting gave us an opportunity to raise any issues that had come up over placement, problems we'd come up against and also to celebrate our successes. It seems that the difficulties were things that had come up time and time before. There were quite a few girls that had had problems having their books signed off - that their mentors would repeatedly put it off, and then it would be too late. There also seemed to be a huge variation in the marks we'd been given. There is a mark guide and we'd been advised to explain that the mark scheme was based on us as first years and therefore we'd possibly need to push for higher marks if we felt we deserved it. Unfortunately some mentors would mark us as first years assuming the marking criteria would remain the same over the three years and wouldn't listen to any opinion given by the student. It certainly made me realise how lucky I had been with my mentor and how I'd been marked for my placement.
There was also some discussion about the attitude towards students from some of the midwives. It's very obvious those that are happy to work with students and those that aren't. Simply put it is an essential part of their job but like any job I guess, everyone has parts they don't want to do....doesn't make it easy for us as students however. We talked quite a lot about the different ways we had handled it and hopefully it will help us for our future placements.
We then had our skills lecture, personal tutor group meeting and finally a psycho-social lecture. It would have been far better to have had the psycho-social lecture at the beginning of the day as many people left by the end of the day, and I found it hard to concentrate by that point. Once we'd finished for the day I went straight to the library to squeeze in some final study for the exam. I must confess it wasn't very successful as I was very tired by then.
So Wednesday came and the nerves were fluttering. We were due to have a lecture for Values at 9 but I confess I skipped it in favour of some more last minute study. At 12 I made my way over to the room along with some of my colleagues. The exam was two hours long and afterwards there was the typical postmortem. I found it much harder than I'd expected in some parts and other parts were ok. I simply hope I have done enough to pass it!
The next couple of days were far nicer without the exam hanging over us, though we'll all be grateful in about 6 weeks when we get the results. We're already thinking ahead to our next assignment and also our next placement. And we're also beginning to think about our transition time when we can choose what we'd like to do for 3 weeks; well 100 hours. I've got a few ideas and it's a case of deciding which one to go for. Next year I think I would like to go and learn about fertility treatment and then potentially use that experience to follow through with my final dissertation.
Sunday, 17 October 2010
Placement One - Done!
Tomorrow the first assignment is due in - thankfully I've already done mine and submitted it. I've since fretted over whether or not I've missed anything, whether or not I've submitted it correctly and so on. However all I can do now is wait and see so I am trying to put it out of my mind and concentrate on the other assessments I have coming up. I have begun on my next assignment already as it's a bit more challenging. I am grateful that I have until January to complete it.
The other thing I can do tomorrow is my online Drugs calculation test. The practice test has been open for a couple of weeks and I've done fine with it so I must confess to not being too worried. It is compulsory to get 100% because in the real world when it comes to drugs, there can't be any errors. We get three attempts at the test, we can log in over the next two weeks to make our attempt and we get the result immediately....I think this is my kind of test!
However on Wednesday I have my first exam. I've been studying hard but I feel like each time I leave the library I know less than when I went in. I just keep hoping that some of it sticks. This is fortunately the only exam we'll sit this year and it's on Biology - probably my weakest area. The paper is split into two parts - the first part is 25 multiple choice questions; and the second part is the Midwifery specific question with a diagram to label and 4 long answer questions worth 10 points each. In order to pass we have to get 40% but obviously I'd like to get a better mark than that. This week I have been studying the pelvis - when I am in the car, I'm reciting the names of the bones and picturing the diagram in my head trying to match up the names with the image. I've also been studying fetal circulation before and after birth and the changes that occur. I've been looking at all the hormones and their effects during pregnancy. Tomorrow I am glad that I have no lectures so I can spend the day in the library studying hard although I worry that I don't have time to read up on everything that I want to. It's definitely a learning experience for the future....start earlier - yet I thought I started fairly early already.
I really enjoyed placement but I must confess to looking forward to going back into Uni now. I am looking forward to catching up with my cohort and hearing about their placement. I am particularly looking forward to talking with those who worked in the same area as me and with some of the same people. I am almost certain now that I am the only one in my cohort that hasn't made a "catch" of my own. I am trying hard to concentrate on the fact that it doesn't matter at this stage and next placement I will certainly do it, and plenty of times I am sure. Also I have had no problems in the end with getting my book signed off and I am thrilled with the result and feedback I have been given. However I cannot deny being slightly envious that everyone else has had their first delivery.
So now I am looking forward to Thursday - the exam over, the drugs calculation test hopefully passed. Of course we'll be back into the thick of lectures and seminars but with the next deadline a while away, it feels a little less pressured. Wish me luck for Wednesday - I have no doubt I shall post to let you know how I felt it went.
The other thing I can do tomorrow is my online Drugs calculation test. The practice test has been open for a couple of weeks and I've done fine with it so I must confess to not being too worried. It is compulsory to get 100% because in the real world when it comes to drugs, there can't be any errors. We get three attempts at the test, we can log in over the next two weeks to make our attempt and we get the result immediately....I think this is my kind of test!
However on Wednesday I have my first exam. I've been studying hard but I feel like each time I leave the library I know less than when I went in. I just keep hoping that some of it sticks. This is fortunately the only exam we'll sit this year and it's on Biology - probably my weakest area. The paper is split into two parts - the first part is 25 multiple choice questions; and the second part is the Midwifery specific question with a diagram to label and 4 long answer questions worth 10 points each. In order to pass we have to get 40% but obviously I'd like to get a better mark than that. This week I have been studying the pelvis - when I am in the car, I'm reciting the names of the bones and picturing the diagram in my head trying to match up the names with the image. I've also been studying fetal circulation before and after birth and the changes that occur. I've been looking at all the hormones and their effects during pregnancy. Tomorrow I am glad that I have no lectures so I can spend the day in the library studying hard although I worry that I don't have time to read up on everything that I want to. It's definitely a learning experience for the future....start earlier - yet I thought I started fairly early already.
I really enjoyed placement but I must confess to looking forward to going back into Uni now. I am looking forward to catching up with my cohort and hearing about their placement. I am particularly looking forward to talking with those who worked in the same area as me and with some of the same people. I am almost certain now that I am the only one in my cohort that hasn't made a "catch" of my own. I am trying hard to concentrate on the fact that it doesn't matter at this stage and next placement I will certainly do it, and plenty of times I am sure. Also I have had no problems in the end with getting my book signed off and I am thrilled with the result and feedback I have been given. However I cannot deny being slightly envious that everyone else has had their first delivery.
So now I am looking forward to Thursday - the exam over, the drugs calculation test hopefully passed. Of course we'll be back into the thick of lectures and seminars but with the next deadline a while away, it feels a little less pressured. Wish me luck for Wednesday - I have no doubt I shall post to let you know how I felt it went.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)