Wednesday, 13 October 2010

The miracle of birth

Love is...., originally uploaded by stephalie1977.

When I was in my late teens and early twenties I was terrified of falling pregnant. It wasn't that I was scared of pregnancy but I certainly wasn't ready to be a Mum. The other thing that terrified me was the thought of having to tell my Mum that I was pregnant, knowing I wasn't ready nor old enough.

When I was 28, married and felt very ready to have a baby; it was still a nerve wracking experience telling my Mum that I was pregnant. She was of course thrilled to hear she was going to be a Grandma again (she already had three (and a half) grandchildren at that time). For me it was quite a scary experience....I almost felt like I was saying "Hey Mum, I've been having sex". The second time I fell pregnant was a far more enjoyable experience.

I've already told you about my friends sad experiences of loss but I've not mentioned the friends I have that struggle to fall pregnant in the first place. Couples with no fertility problems at all can find it hard to fall pregnant. Why? There are a variety of reasons.

One egg is released each month and sperm have only a limited life span. Also a woman's uterus is not very welcoming to fact it downright does all it can to make the sperm fail. Also when a man ejaculates, some of the sperm he releases are defective and the number of "good" sperm varies from man to man.

So the very first barrier is timing intercourse correctly for the release of the egg; then there is the hurdle for the sperm to reach the egg; then there has to be a good quality sperm able to infiltrate the egg and fertilize it and then just when you think you are on the home have to hope that the egg then implants and not only that but that it implants in the right place.

So you can see that pregnancy truly is a miracle even when everything is working correctly. As young girls you prevent against pregnancy but then one day we hope, dream, live for new life. It becomes an all consuming thought and you are hyper aware where you see babies and pregnant women everywhere. At the base of it all you hope that your body won't fail you. Of course not every woman feels such strong urges about becoming a mother but I certainly know plenty of women that do and it is how I felt.

Of course there are women who seem to fall pregnant at the drop of a hat, that only have to look at their partner and they are pregnant....if you've had fertility problems, you'll have heard these phrases before. And then there are the anecdotes "ooh I knew someone who'd been trying for a baby for 5 years, was just about to start IVF and she fell pregnant naturally". Or the useful advice "you just need to relax and stop thinking about it". Of course this follows the "so when are you going to start a family then?" from the second you get married. The thing is people mean well but it hurts. So if you ever find yourself in the situation that you might say something like this.....don't! Bite your tongue and don't.

I confess I don't know much about infertility treatment but it is an area I am interested in and I hope to spend some time at a fertility clinic during my transition period in University.

To all those friends that I have that do have fertility difficulties, I hope that someday soon your dreams come true and the miracle of pregnancy blesses you.

1 comment:

  1. This is a lovely post when I was younger I never wanted children but now i see babies and my friends have children and I want that too and just to read this and know you have felt that and I'm not mad is lovely haha. Also I am loving the blog I'm reading because I am hoping to become a midwife too soon and wanted to ask you a few question but I'm going to carry on reading and then I shall ask if that's ok with you. Thanks for writing this blog it's fab.