Wednesday, 16 March 2011


I've been tagged on Twitter by @naomiwinters_  to answer a few questions! I do like a challenge so here we go! I have been tagged to complete the sentences below and to tag 5 fellow bloggers who I would like to see do the same.

I am.....thinking about my brother today. Today should be his birthday....he would have been 37 and that feels very strange. In case you haven't read some of my other posts but I lost my brother almost 5 years ago to a brain tumour. When I meet new people and they ask if I have brothers or sisters, I hesitate. I don't want to not mention him, but I know the reaction I'll get when I say I have a brother that died. Anyway today I spent the day with my Mum, Dad and sister - we had lunch and enjoyed spending the time together. We certainly didn't sit around and cry or get sad, he wouldn't have wanted that, he didn't like a fuss.

The bravest thing I have ever done is.... taken antidepressants. Or potentially I guess it was the first trip to the doctors to admit I was struggling with life. Depression is a very lonely experience and for me it felt ridiculous that I could be depressed. I was a coper, I was an optimist, things didn't get me down so how could it be that I was depressed. However the reality was that I thought my family would be better off without me - not that I was suicidal, but that I shouldn't be in their lives as I was clearly bad luck and they'd be better off with someone else. Looking back I can see how ridiculous that was, but at the time I completely believed it. I was lucky that I had good friends who helped me to see that I needed some help; they encouraged me to approach my doctors for advice which thankfully I did. It takes a far braver person to admit they need help, than to do something on your own, in my humble opinion.

I feel prettiest when.... well now I don't have great self confidence in my looks. I don't think I'm pretty. However I guess I felt at my prettiest on my wedding day and my husband always tells me I look beautiful; whilst I don't believe him, I appreciate he believes it and that means far more than anything to me.

Something that keeps me up at night is.....well it doesn't take much to keep me up at night because I am a night owl and a bit of an insomniac. It's far harder to get me up in the morning. Whenever I am worried I do tend to suffer more with the insomnia.

My favourite meal Mum's roast lamb with all the trimmings followed by rhubarb or apple crumble with custard....and that has to be runny custard not the thick stuff you can stand a spoon up in.

The way to my heart is....through being a genuine, honest, kind and big hearted person.

I would like to be.....a Midwife but I guess you knew that.

So five bloggers I'd like to see join in are

I look forward to reading yours!

Oh and here is a link to Naomi's


  1. Thanks for the link and was really interesting to read yours :)

    I hope yesterday wasn't too difficult for you. x

  2. Lovely post.
    Totally understand how you feel. the loss of a loved one to a brain humour is hideous. and the loss of a sibling in any form is horrid - i definately hate meeting new people, especially in maternity classes, having to explain how she died ( which i appreciate in the face of your loss probably seems like a really big insult and i am angry everyday for what she did especially with my cousin'a illness.) i somehow feel like once you share the info you become that person who... it seperates you. sounds like you had a special time with the rest of the family. it really is important to connect with everyone else at that time. i always do.

    Definately agree that asking for help is a massive step but until a person admits they need help there is nothing you can do. brave indeed to admit it xxx

    Come to the conclusion that hubs can be wonderful- and as long as he knows me , i don't care what anyone else thinks. if he can love me and still find me gorgeous when i am huge with child/ postnatal bloat then i am blessed. love it xxxxxxxxxx