Yesterday the group ahead of ours graduated. Wow! Well done to all of them. However it does bring it home, that soon it will be us. Our lecturers are beginning to talk about job applications and portfolios and other paperwork that will need to be completed before we can qualify. In just a few weeks we will begin our final placement and we'll be aiming to get as much experience as we can whilst we are still students. I know I definitely feel like I still have so much to learn, and that there is no way I have enough time to learn it all. However I do feel that it is a bit like driving and passing your test. At first you know enough to pass...you've got the basics but you need experience to become more confident. You certainly can't know what you've never faced. I don't worry about it because I think it's far more dangerous to think you know it all. We are life long learners and it's important to remember that.
At times I still feel completely overwhelmed. If I think about my dissertation and assignment still to be written, my portfolio to complete, my genetics workbook to complete and everything else, I feel slightly ill. Therefore I try really hard to concentrate on one thing at a time. And that's just the academic side of things. This placement we also have to get all of our required deliveries and ensure we've got all our hours. I only need three more deliveries thankfully but I know that there are some of my cohort that need far more and they'll be pushing hard to get them now, so that they can qualify together with the rest of us.
In between studying and researching for my dissertation, I am spending quite a lot of time with my daughters Twirling group http://distinctiontwirlersofmedway.blogspot.co.uk/. I do think it is vital to have some time out from being a student midwife and for me, spending time with my family is essential. My eldest daughter has been twirling for just over a year now and my youngest joined her just a few months ago. Over the time they have been going, I have made some fantastic new friends and they too offer me support as a student. My eldest daughter used to be quite shy but her confidence has increased tenfold, through this hobby. This weekend, they both attended a competition and were both were fortunate enough to come home with trophies. A year ago I would never have thought it could be possible.
Recently I also helped at an open evening at my University. I really enjoyed seeing the potential students and their enthusiasm for midwifery. It reminded me of when I first started my journey to become a midwife and how excited I was. I am still excited about becoming a midwife and I look forward to my career and supporting women at such an important time of their lives. So when the amount of work to be done is getting me down, and overwhelmed, I just remind myself of why I set out on this journey and I battle on another day!
Showing posts with label honesty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label honesty. Show all posts
Tuesday, 23 October 2012
Monday, 2 January 2012
Working in the community
Before Christmas I was working in Community which I do love. I particularly like it when I see women before and after the birth of their baby, or to see women on their first day home and then to see them when they are being discharged. In both situations, I have witnessed many changes in the women. I have witnessed the nervous woman become a confident mother, and I have witnessed the confident professional become very unsure and lost when faced with a tiny helpless baby. Babies are certainly unpredictable and it doesn't matter how many books you read before they are born, you simply can't be fully prepared.
One of the most common questions to be asked as a Midwife is "is this normal?" - this might be during pregnancy or after the birth but it gets asked a lot. 99% of the time (a guess, I haven't sat and worked out a statistic) I would say yes, that it is perfectly normal. Babies are born with their own personalities and all we can do is respond to their needs to the best of our abilities. In the early days this often means trying to guess at what they need...mentally going through the checklist - hungry? nappy needs changing? too hot or too cold? tired? It's all guess work really until you can begin to learn your baby's cues.
Frequently new mothers ask about how to get their baby to sleep in the moses basket/crib/cot...anywhere rather than lying on Mum. Don't worry I did the same myself, in fact I think I spent the first 2 years of my eldest's life wondering and worrying about how to get her to sleep anywhere but near or on me - she had to be in contact in some way, whether lying on me or just having a hand on me. Generally I advise new mothers to cuddle their babies...shocking I know...but the baby has spent 9 months inside Mum, able to hear her heart beating as a constant sound, and never before having experienced hunger, temperature, gravity and yet we expect babies to suddenly sleep by themselves. Birth is a shock to them and they need reassurance and comfort. I also advise trying putting something that smells of Mum in the crib, warming the crib with a hot water bottle (ensuring to remove it before baby goes in) so it's not suddenly cold on their back, giving baby to Dad to settle for sleep, a slumber bear if they can afford one but what works for one baby won't work for another, and sometimes what works one night won't work the next, and sometimes it feels that nothing works at all. It can simply be a case of give it time...it certainly was the case with my eldest daughter. My younger daughter was far easier - she'd sleep anywhere! I certainly don't believe it was anything I did that made her more likely to sleep, just that she was born with that kind of personality. So give it time, cuddle your baby, try these things by all means but I promise that at some point, your baby will be able to go to sleep by themselves. I have been on the receiving end of such advice and at the time it felt like useless advice, the tiredness was relentless, and that even one more night was one night too many but I hope it brings comfort to know that yes this is normal for many babies.
I seem to have wandered into the realms of sleepless nights and generic advice but it is something that new mums ask about so often that I feel it's worth discussion. Certainly I feel that the lack of sleep I endured when my children were younger has prepared me well for night shifts as a midwife. As a breastfeeding mother helper, helping to run the group, the women that came along would frequently ask for help with sleep and their babies. We live in a society where "sleeping through the night" appears to be main focus, the ultimate goal, particularly in the early days and then with some desperation as time goes by. However if were simply to accept that babies wake in the night for an indefinite period of time, is it not easier to cope with? That actually the norm is not for babies to sleep through the night, but for them to wake regularly to feed and that at times they will sleep for longer and other times they will wake more frequently, such as during growth spurts which again are normal. I know that I found it far easier to deal with my second child's nightly wakings because I was prepared for it. I was still exhausted at times, and I still complained about it but I didn't waste energy trying to fight it or find an answer to it. I tried things to see if it helped but I didn't worry if it didn't, I just recognised that she wasn't ready yet. However I did have the advantage of not working at that time, I wasn't yet a student either. My eldest spent mornings at nursery so I used that time to catch up a bit and rest. I think we have a tendancy in this country to try and push ourselves back to normal as soon as possible and actually we'd do well to stop and learn about our babies, spend time with them, allow time to recover from the birth properly...focus on what's important...not on having a show home, or getting out and about as quickly as possible, make use of friends and family to help out if you can. This is of course all very idealistic and I do realise that but I can dream, at least when I'm allowed to sleep that is. At the very least I think this is useful advice for those very early days....stop, rest, recover and cuddle your baby.
One of the most common questions to be asked as a Midwife is "is this normal?" - this might be during pregnancy or after the birth but it gets asked a lot. 99% of the time (a guess, I haven't sat and worked out a statistic) I would say yes, that it is perfectly normal. Babies are born with their own personalities and all we can do is respond to their needs to the best of our abilities. In the early days this often means trying to guess at what they need...mentally going through the checklist - hungry? nappy needs changing? too hot or too cold? tired? It's all guess work really until you can begin to learn your baby's cues.
Frequently new mothers ask about how to get their baby to sleep in the moses basket/crib/cot...anywhere rather than lying on Mum. Don't worry I did the same myself, in fact I think I spent the first 2 years of my eldest's life wondering and worrying about how to get her to sleep anywhere but near or on me - she had to be in contact in some way, whether lying on me or just having a hand on me. Generally I advise new mothers to cuddle their babies...shocking I know...but the baby has spent 9 months inside Mum, able to hear her heart beating as a constant sound, and never before having experienced hunger, temperature, gravity and yet we expect babies to suddenly sleep by themselves. Birth is a shock to them and they need reassurance and comfort. I also advise trying putting something that smells of Mum in the crib, warming the crib with a hot water bottle (ensuring to remove it before baby goes in) so it's not suddenly cold on their back, giving baby to Dad to settle for sleep, a slumber bear if they can afford one but what works for one baby won't work for another, and sometimes what works one night won't work the next, and sometimes it feels that nothing works at all. It can simply be a case of give it time...it certainly was the case with my eldest daughter. My younger daughter was far easier - she'd sleep anywhere! I certainly don't believe it was anything I did that made her more likely to sleep, just that she was born with that kind of personality. So give it time, cuddle your baby, try these things by all means but I promise that at some point, your baby will be able to go to sleep by themselves. I have been on the receiving end of such advice and at the time it felt like useless advice, the tiredness was relentless, and that even one more night was one night too many but I hope it brings comfort to know that yes this is normal for many babies.
I seem to have wandered into the realms of sleepless nights and generic advice but it is something that new mums ask about so often that I feel it's worth discussion. Certainly I feel that the lack of sleep I endured when my children were younger has prepared me well for night shifts as a midwife. As a breastfeeding mother helper, helping to run the group, the women that came along would frequently ask for help with sleep and their babies. We live in a society where "sleeping through the night" appears to be main focus, the ultimate goal, particularly in the early days and then with some desperation as time goes by. However if were simply to accept that babies wake in the night for an indefinite period of time, is it not easier to cope with? That actually the norm is not for babies to sleep through the night, but for them to wake regularly to feed and that at times they will sleep for longer and other times they will wake more frequently, such as during growth spurts which again are normal. I know that I found it far easier to deal with my second child's nightly wakings because I was prepared for it. I was still exhausted at times, and I still complained about it but I didn't waste energy trying to fight it or find an answer to it. I tried things to see if it helped but I didn't worry if it didn't, I just recognised that she wasn't ready yet. However I did have the advantage of not working at that time, I wasn't yet a student either. My eldest spent mornings at nursery so I used that time to catch up a bit and rest. I think we have a tendancy in this country to try and push ourselves back to normal as soon as possible and actually we'd do well to stop and learn about our babies, spend time with them, allow time to recover from the birth properly...focus on what's important...not on having a show home, or getting out and about as quickly as possible, make use of friends and family to help out if you can. This is of course all very idealistic and I do realise that but I can dream, at least when I'm allowed to sleep that is. At the very least I think this is useful advice for those very early days....stop, rest, recover and cuddle your baby.
Photos courtesy of Marie Donn Photography
Wednesday, 16 February 2011
What do women want?
I've talked quite a lot about the kind of midwife that I want to be but the other day I was considering the kind of midwife that women want? I am in the unique position of knowing a variety of women, who have all had very different labours and experiences, positive and negative, so I took the opportunity to ask them just how they felt about their births and how they felt about the midwives involved in their care. The response was very mixed, as you'd expect but there were some common answers that seemed to run through their replies. The responses made for very interesting reading, and sometimes very emotional reading.
It came as no surprise that the women wanted to feel listened to; that they were more than just a number and treated as an individual. It's a well researched fact that women in labour have better outcomes when they receive one to one care and yet this doesn't appear to be happening for all women. Their are midwifery shortages throughout the UK which places a huge impact on the services that midwives are able to provide and the subsequent experience that women will get. Although it cannot be denied that staff shortages are not the sole reason that some women do not receive one to one care and despite listening skills being highlighted as an essential requirement for any midwifery student candidate, it appears that some midwives have lost the ability.
The vast majority of positive experiences were during labour and planned caesarean births and the women spoke of calm, reassuring midwives who kept them informed. There was disappointment spoken of, if a midwife who had been present for their care, had come to the end of her shift and a different midwife had taken over. Again I was reminded of the importance of one to one care and how much of a difference it made to women.
I was particularly sad to read that for most women the postnatal care, and in particular the breastfeeding support was declared to be awful. This is where there was frequent mention of a lack of staff, the staff that were there being in a rush because of the number of women they were caring for, coming across as uncaring and uninterested. It also seemed that whilst midwives had the knowledge about breastfeeding and support, they didn't have the time to spend with women supporting them.
Another factor in whether or not women had a positive birth experience, appeared to be their expectations of how things would be. I have heard it said many times that for the woman with the explicit birth plan, strict dos and don'ts of what they want, is a straight to theatre kind of woman. Whilst this is said very tongue in cheek, there can be a bit of truth in that statement - in particular for the first time mother. If you've not experienced it before, then how can you truly know what you'll need? If you aren't expecting labour to be hard work, then it's unlikely that a choice of no pain relief is going to work out. If you are expecting to jump straight back to normal following a Caesarean section, then you will get a bit of a shock.
There are no gold medals given out for childbirth and whether or not you use pain relief, whether you "manage" without an epidural, whether or not you give birth vaginally or your baby takes the sun roof! Yet I have heard many women speaking of feeling like a failure because things didn't go to plan.
My advice to women would be to be as open minded as you can be about pain relief, and positions and what you might need. It's good to know roughly what to expect but don't get fixed on a plan.
My advice to myself and any other aspiring midwives would be to always listen to women; to always remember the value of time and try wherever possible to provide one to one care, to keep women informed, be honest with them and let them know what is happening. When you can't spend time with someone, explain why not but try to organise something so that they do get some time with someone who can help. I know this won't solve the problems of staff shortages but we can all do our best.
And finally I just want to say a huge thank you to all of you that contributed answers to my questions about your experiences. I think I have learnt far more than I have put into this post, and I value each and every reply.
It came as no surprise that the women wanted to feel listened to; that they were more than just a number and treated as an individual. It's a well researched fact that women in labour have better outcomes when they receive one to one care and yet this doesn't appear to be happening for all women. Their are midwifery shortages throughout the UK which places a huge impact on the services that midwives are able to provide and the subsequent experience that women will get. Although it cannot be denied that staff shortages are not the sole reason that some women do not receive one to one care and despite listening skills being highlighted as an essential requirement for any midwifery student candidate, it appears that some midwives have lost the ability.
The vast majority of positive experiences were during labour and planned caesarean births and the women spoke of calm, reassuring midwives who kept them informed. There was disappointment spoken of, if a midwife who had been present for their care, had come to the end of her shift and a different midwife had taken over. Again I was reminded of the importance of one to one care and how much of a difference it made to women.
I was particularly sad to read that for most women the postnatal care, and in particular the breastfeeding support was declared to be awful. This is where there was frequent mention of a lack of staff, the staff that were there being in a rush because of the number of women they were caring for, coming across as uncaring and uninterested. It also seemed that whilst midwives had the knowledge about breastfeeding and support, they didn't have the time to spend with women supporting them.
Another factor in whether or not women had a positive birth experience, appeared to be their expectations of how things would be. I have heard it said many times that for the woman with the explicit birth plan, strict dos and don'ts of what they want, is a straight to theatre kind of woman. Whilst this is said very tongue in cheek, there can be a bit of truth in that statement - in particular for the first time mother. If you've not experienced it before, then how can you truly know what you'll need? If you aren't expecting labour to be hard work, then it's unlikely that a choice of no pain relief is going to work out. If you are expecting to jump straight back to normal following a Caesarean section, then you will get a bit of a shock.
There are no gold medals given out for childbirth and whether or not you use pain relief, whether you "manage" without an epidural, whether or not you give birth vaginally or your baby takes the sun roof! Yet I have heard many women speaking of feeling like a failure because things didn't go to plan.
My advice to women would be to be as open minded as you can be about pain relief, and positions and what you might need. It's good to know roughly what to expect but don't get fixed on a plan.
My advice to myself and any other aspiring midwives would be to always listen to women; to always remember the value of time and try wherever possible to provide one to one care, to keep women informed, be honest with them and let them know what is happening. When you can't spend time with someone, explain why not but try to organise something so that they do get some time with someone who can help. I know this won't solve the problems of staff shortages but we can all do our best.
And finally I just want to say a huge thank you to all of you that contributed answers to my questions about your experiences. I think I have learnt far more than I have put into this post, and I value each and every reply.
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