Passion and Inspiration

Sometimes I find myself bogged down in the workload. For example, at the moment we are working on two assignments, about to return to placement and in January we have a presentation and a biology exam. In the midst of this, I am also attending meetings in my capacity as set rep and trying to plan for Christmas, spend time with my family and friends and there just isn't enough hours in the week. Consequently I'm a little rundown at the moment, with cold after cold and a constant feeling of tiredness. So it's easy to wonder how I maintain my passion for midwifery, and to keep that light at the end of the tunnel to aim for.

I try to maintain my passion for midwifery through reading - I'm always interested in the use of techniques I've never seen in practice and that we're unlikely to be taught. For example, the use of water blisters to help with the pain in a back to back labour. If you've not heard of them before then have a read, it's really interesting. Something else I was reading about recently was a technique for dealing with shoulder dystocia where the mother is aided into a running start position which is explained here.

I also recently attended a water birth study day which re-ignited my passion for water birth and home birth. Prior to beginning the course, it was of course my own home water birth that inspired me to become a midwife and yet I am still to attend one myself. The study day reminded me of how to trust in women to be able to birth their babies without any intervention. It also highlighted to me the amount of fear there is surrounding home birth - from the health professionals as well as the women. Fortunately this isn't true of everyone but clearly a significant enough number for the percentage of women having a home birth to be extremely low. According to Birth Choice UK, just 2.39% of births in the UK were home births and in the area where I work just 2.2%, a figure which hasn't changed much in the past 10 years.

This week I was fortunate to be able to attend the RCM student midwives conference in Brighton. As well as the superb amount of freebies from all the stands that were there, I also had the opportunity to listen to some inspirational speakers. I was able to hear from other students, newly qualified midwives and midwives who had been working in the profession for a long time. If you ever get the chance to attend then I thoroughly recommend it. It's hard for me to sum up exactly how much you can gain from the experience. I'd also recommend any other conferences you can attend, such as the ARM conference or any other event where you might have the opportunity to hear such inspirational speakers.

So when I'm feeling the pressure of my workload and all I'm really doing is worrying about how I am going to get it all done, to the best of my ability, sometimes I just take some time out to remind myself why I am doing it and I then find I can focus better on my work. Alternatively I also have times when I just have to push on, push past the point where I feel everything I am writing is rubbish, to the point where it begins to make sense. Trust me, it does happen sometimes.

If you haven't done so already, can you please sign the petition for more midwives!
http://www.rcm.org.uk/college/campaigns-events/protect-maternity-services/

I am brave

Today I had a conversation with a fellow blogger StupidGirl about how brave it is to follow your dreams, prompted by her latest blog post. Many people I know think I am brave to enter the world of Midwifery but I don't think I am brave as I am just following my dreams of what I have always wanted to do.

However it took quite a lot of courage to tell people that I wanted to be a midwife. I worried a lot about what others would think and expected a negative reaction. As a result when I was younger and still at school, I didn't actually tell anyone it was what I wanted to do and I certainly didn't have the courage to actually apply. Then as an adult, it still took a bit of courage and a long time thinking about it before I would even voice the thought aloud. I can remember not long after my second daughter was born, talking to my Mum and voicing the thought aloud for the first time. I was worried that people would think it was post-birth euphoria speaking rather than anything else so if I dared to mention it I'd automatically declare I was waiting at least a year before acting on my hopes.

Every time I spoke to someone else about hoping to be a midwife, I'd wait for that negative reaction and it never did come. I got lots of positive responses in fact, and still do. Many friends and family have said to me that I will make a fantastic midwife. It would take more courage for me to say "I am going to be a fantastic midwife" than for me to take blood, or help to deliver a baby.

What was a brave step, was actually thinking to myself 'it's my life and I'm going to make the most of it, I'm going to follow my dreams'. And that is a brave step for anyone, whatever they are looking to do. For most of us, following our dreams, means some kind of sacrifice somewhere else in our lives. For me I am sacrificing my time with my daughters. I once said, I wouldn't work where I had to struggle to organise childcare in the school holidays or if my children were ill. So instead I have chosen a profession with possibly the most antisocial hours you can get. Why? What changed? Is it that my children are no longer my priority? Well it helps that they are no longer babies and require less of me now; but I have the belief that if I have to go to work and leave my girls, then I don't want to be resentful that I am having to work somewhere I hate, rather than be with them. I want to be working somewhere I enjoy the work, that gives me purpose. For me, that is Midwifery. I will be giving my daughters less time yes, but a much more fulfilled Mum. I believe in this way I will actually give them more, than I would by staying at home with them.

This is absolutely not a dig at any stay at home Mum's before anyone thinks it is. I was a stay at home Mum for 4 years and it's hard work. If my husband hadn't lost his job, I wouldn't have applied to Midwifery until both the girls were at school. My eldest is at school now and it won't be long until the youngest starts Nursery but it's meant a lot to me that my husband has been the stay at home parent for them. He has been a constant for them, in a time when a lot has changed in their lives. I know I would have wobbled far more about applying without his presence at home. (and that's not a judgement on working mother's either)

If you've dreamt about working in a particular area, then just think about it a little more. We only get one life and our working lives are long - far too long to spend doing something you hate. Just take a look at what you'd need to do to follow your dreams? Do you need to do a course? Can you study in the evenings? Just see if it's possible...even if you do nothing about it for now. Be brave and take a step....dip your toe....dare to dream...